10 Random Poker Quotes

• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?