10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.