10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs