10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "No river, no fish."