10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)