10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"