10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright