10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.