10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack