10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Fook the floosh droo!
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."