10 Random Poker Quotes

• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine