10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.