10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob