10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Welcome to kicker school
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom