10 Random Poker Quotes

• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.