10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.