10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet