10 Random Poker Quotes

• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.