10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"