10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.