10 Random Poker Quotes

• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword