10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "No river, no fish."
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• if u play for the thrill u are ill
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz