10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• In order to live, you must be willing to die - Amir Vahedi
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.