10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.