10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer