10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• "The lucky player is usually the player that knows how much to leave to chance." flintsword
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.