10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.