10 Random Poker Quotes
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More Random Quotes- Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
- Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
- People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
- Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand.
One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
- When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
- You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all
in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns
over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen
that before, and ...."
- Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
- "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
- God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
- Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."