10 Random Poker Quotes

• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson