10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.