10 Random Poker Quotes

• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo