10 Random Poker Quotes

• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• Welcome to kicker school
• Why not, when some because there are three.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen