10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.