10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen