10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.