10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• Poker is for loners.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.