10 Random Poker Quotes

• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.