10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.