10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright