10 Random Poker Quotes

• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.