10 Random Poker Quotes

• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!