10 Random Poker Quotes

• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Poker is for fat, American losers.