10 Random Poker Quotes

• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)