10 Random Poker Quotes

• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus