10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.