10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.