10 Random Poker Quotes

• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson