10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."