10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Why not, when some because there are three.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)