10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• I'd rather be good than lucky, I'd rather be lucky than lose...
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Its better to have played and lost then to not have played at all Dick McWatters
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.